Meant To Live
by White Thestral
Summary: Narutoxover with Blood Plus elements All Uzumaki Usagi ever wanted was to get out of Konoha and live a normal life without the villagers breathing down her neck. But with persistent Hokages, motherhen senseis and her own dark past, will she ever be free?
1. Of Deals and Better Days

Disclaimer: The world of anime as you know it would collapse around your ears if I owned Naruto or Sailor Moon. Literally.

**Pairings**: ItaUsa, SasuUsa, and onesided SakuSasu

And yet again, I've started another fic that's going to take me forever to finish. Sigh. Oh, I know, you'd all like to beat me to death with wooden spoons. Grab a number and get in line, dears. I'm afraid I'm in one of my fickle moods (the fever I'm running right now isn't helping. GODDAMNIT, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET FEVERS IN SUMMER. It's just WRONG!)

_Ramen!!-- _Usagi thinking

_Ramen!!_-- Naruto speaking/thinking

_**Enough with the damn ramen!!**_-- Kyuubi thinking/speaking

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Konoha..."

Deep blue eyes swept the length of the town from the top of the Hokage monument, scorn etched deep in the holder of the blue eyes' face. Soft lips curved in a dry and mocking smirk as the blonde girl, hands on hips as she surveyed the village as if she owned it. Uzumaki Usagi smirked down at the people scurrying to and fro below her, amusement lighting her face as she observed their petty doings.

"Dear Konoha, my so-called _home_, reciever of my _undying_ loyalty," Usagi murmured sarcastically, unholy glee lighting her features as she watched the sunlight reflect off of the windows and roofs of the village as if it were a jewel. Oh, it was a jewel alright-- a jewel that had lost its sparkle and its appeal to her.

_**Did I ever tell you I love it when you're sadistic and pessimistic, kit?**_ Kyuubi's voice purred in her mind. Usagi smiled, genuinely this time, and sat down with a soft _thump_ on the Yondaime's head, disrespectfully letting her legs dangle down onto his face and idly drumming her heels on the stone.

_Only a hundred times a day, Tousan,_ she replied cheekily.

_Bastard fox! Don't encourage her!_ Naruto shouted as both his sister and the demon flinched from the sheer volume of his voice. _Sandaime-ojii is getting suspicious enough without you talking her into a bloodthirsty state._

_**As much as I hate to admit it, the gaki is right, **_Kyuubi huffed, sounding affronted. _**The old man is beginning to stick his wrinkled old nose too far into our business lately. You're going to have to make an effort to act cheerful-- well, as cheerful as you can be anyway.**_

Usagi sent the image of herself pulling down her eyelid and blowing a raspberry at the demon, and grinned outright at Naruto's howls of laughter and Kyuubi's grumblings about disrespectful mortals.

_Heh...So, do you think you should fail the exams again or just skip out this time, Usa-chan?_ Naruto inquired thoughtfully. Usagi twitched at the nickname her brother insisted on calling her, giving a scorching glare of death to the air in front of her.

_I think I'll skip this time, Naru-chan,_ she responded mildly, laughing to herself as Naruto cursed at her and Kyuubi chuckled. _There's just one year left of this shit until I can't try again. Ojii-san can't keep me in the Acadamy after that without being accused of favoritism, which would be completely true. After that I'll high-tail it out of Fire Country and forget there ever was a place called Konoha._

_Fat chance of that one,_ Naruto grumbled. Kyuubi growled in agreement, all three of them silent in reflection of the cruelty heaped upon Usagi. In the end, it was the fox who decided enough was enough.

_**Enough's enough, brats,**_ he growled. _**Don't you have some training to be doing, kit? **_Kyuubi demanded of the blonde girl. Said blonde girl rolled her eyes, but obediently pulled her sword out of its sheath and began her katas. 

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

_Soft crying resonated within the apartment walls as the moon's unforgiving light shone down on the sobbing blonde child. The whisker marks on her cheeks stood out even more vibrantly as tears rolled over them. Mirror shards were scattered everywhere, reflecting her visage mockingly, as if they were taunting her, determined to show her exactly what kind of monster __**they**__ thought she was._

A sigh resonated in the depths of her mind as the child felt Kyuubi awaken and shift. _**Kit, this has to stop. You're frightening your brother, not to mention wasting all my damn chakra with those wounds from the glass.**_

_"S-sorry, Tousan," she whispered, tears falling more thickly as shame joined her sorrow. She was not frightened by the presence of the fox or Naruto, for they had been with her as long as she could remember._

_**Don't worry, kit. It's not your fault, you know that.**___

_Usa-chan?__ Naruto whispered, sounding slightly scared. __You're alright now, aren't you?___

"I...I don't..."

_**Hush, Naruto. Let your sister be.**___

_...Okay. Don't be sad, Usa-chan. We're right here. We won't leave you._

_"Thank you," Usagi whispered, the tears renewing their trek down her face-- not in sorrow, but in gratitude._

Thank you...

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"You're not fucking serious."

_**He's fucking serious,**_Kyuubi noted, half amused and half outraged.

"Yes, I am serious, Usagi," Sarutobi said, glowering at her. "No more failing the genin test on purpose-- oh yes, I know about your little schemes! I--"

_Little schemes, he calls them, _Usagi thought in irritated indignation. _Well those 'little schemes' have been more than effective in fooling the whole freaking population of Konoha into thinking I'm the dobe of my class! Where does the old fart get off, calling my great plans 'little'?_

_Great plans, huh?_ Naruto remarked sourly. _I still think you should have gone with __**my**__ plan and aced all those damn tests to rub it in their smug faces.___

You're only saying that because you want me to get in a fight with Sasuke Uchiha.

_I HATE that stupid teme!!__ Naruto wailed dramatically. __He needs to get that stick pulled out of his ass and actually get a life!___

_**Hush, you brats. The old fart is winding down-- act like you've been listening.**___

"Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal, ojii-san," Usagi said, nodding contritely as she meditated on what kind of ramen she should have for dinner. The Sandaime's eye twitched at her air of nonchalance.

"Did you listen to a word I just said, Usagi?" he demanded.

"Nope." The Hokage facefaulted. The blonde allowed herself a small grin of victory-- Usagi: Forty-nine. Sarutobi: Twenty-two.

Sarutobi extracted himself from his up close and personal meeting with his desk and reached into his desk drawer for a certain paper that he'd been keeping back for an occasion like this. "I really didn't want to do this, but you forced me..." Usagi stopped smiling and gave him and his paper a wary look.

"What's that?" she said, not really wanting to know. The old man grinned at her wickedly, and Usagi felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise and goosebumps prickle her skin. This definitely wasn't good.

"This is an order to ban ramen from ever being bought or consumed in Konoha," Sarutobi said, letting it sink in as he cackled evilly and did a victory dance in his head as he watched it drive home. 

_**You've got to hand it to the old bastard, he really knows how to hit where it hurts,**_ Kyuubi commented as Usagi and Naruto were paralyzed with horror.

_No... ramen. That's just...INHUMANE! _ Naruto shrieked, flailing around in her mind. Usagi didn't reply, staring at the Hokage with her eyes like saucers.

"You wouldn't dare," she stated at last.

"Wouldn't I?" the Sandaime challenged, the pen in his hand hovering threateningly over the paper. Usagi growled.

_No! I can't give in! My dream of leaving this damn village behind! But...my ramen... precious ramen._ Kyuubi sweatdropped as Naruto nodded enthusiastically to her statement.

"Fine," Usagi spat. "I'll pass your stupid genin exam."

The Hokage was too busy congratulating herself to notice the sly look pass over the blonde's features. Kyuubi and Naruto, however, were a different story altogether.

_**You have a backup plan, kit?**_

_Yeah, come on, let us in on the big secret!_

_It's simple, but oh so brilliant,_ Usagi thought gleefully. _I really have to thank old man Teuchi for telling me that all jounin test their genin team to see if they're worth their time. So, I just fail that test, and take another year at the Acadamy, and then fail it again! BWAHAHAHAHAA!!!_

_**Aren't you modest,**_ Kyuubi deadpanned.__

_Quiet, bastard fox. It's a good idea, and more importantly, it's going to work!_

_Ojii-san really should learn to word his orders better. You'd think being Hokage would have made him learn that._

Usagi turned on her heel, sticking her nose in the air in the pretense of a huff as she stomped out. Inwardly, both the blonde and the Hokage were congratulating themselves on a plan well set in motion.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

This was it. This was the last straw. Konoha really, _really_, needed to be razed to the ground-- preferably in the most humiliating way possible (rabid five year-olds armed with flamethrowers and rubber chickens came to mind). The village was getting a little too lax in its standards for shinobi. Plus, since the genin exams were always easy, Usagi really had to _work_ to make herself seem incompetent.

But seriously, Bunshin no Jutsu? That was just insulting. Nevertheless, Usagi obediently formed the hand seals.

"Bunshin no Jutsu," she stated clearly. Two perfect clones popped into existence behind her, awaiting her orders. 

"Well done, Usagi!" Iruka praised, smiling proudly as he made a mark on his clipboard. He took a hitai-ate out of the box next to him and held it out to her, brown eyes sparkling with good cheer. The blonde couldn't help but smile back-- she was fond of her scarred teacher, who treated her much better than his colleagues did and actually made an effort to _teach_ her something. She did her best to hide her distaste for the hitai-ate in his hand as she took it and jammed it in her pocket. There was no way in hell she was going to be caught dead wearing that thing.

"Hang on, Iruka," Mizuki interjected. Usagi swiveled to glare at him, daring him to say something. "Uzumaki's failed the exam three times, and flunked nearly all the written and physical tests. We can't just pass her because she decided now would be a good time to study."

"Oh yes, we can," Iruka growled. "I've quizzed Usagi in private on all the things we went over in class, and she demonstrated a clear and precise knowledge of everything I asked her about. I've sparred with her many times, and she's won a considerable number of them. The only reason she failed all those tests was because she didn't bother to put effort into any of them."

If Usagi could have punched the well-meaning chuunin, she would have. _Way to blow my cover, Iruka-sensei._

_**It's your own fault for being so trusting. You could have kept up the dobe act around him, but noooooo, you had to act SMART.**_

_Shut up, fox. He didn't mean any harm,_ Naruto said sternly.

_**They never do, and look where he landed us! That meddling chuunin probably has all that information in his files, too. Those files will be passed on to Usagi's jounin sensei, who will KNOW she failed everything on purpose, who will then screw us over.**_

_Damn Iruka-sensei. Mizuki does look pretty funny with that gawping-fish look on his face, though._

Usagi turned her glare on Iruka, then stalked out into the classroom, fuming to herself and calling her former sensei everything under the sun. Shikamaru waved her over-- well actually, he moved two of his fingers, but it was the Shika equivalent of a wave since anything else was too troublesome-- and the irate bunny stomped over to him and plopped down next to him. The lazy genius raised an eyebrow at the displeased aura radiating off of his blonde friend.

"Troublesome," he commented tiredly. "What are you so angry about?"

"I passed, that's what," Usagi snarled furiously. "And that Mizuki-teme said that I shouldn't be passed because I already failed three times."

"Troublesome sensei," Shikamaru grumbled.

_He's lucky that BREATHING isn't too troublesome. Wonder what he'd do then?_

_**Not much, since he'd be dead.**_

_Shut up, the both of you. I'm trying to throw a hissy fit quietly._

_**Awwww, poor baby.**___

I hate you.

_We love you too, Usa-chan._

Shikamaru rolled his eyebrow as Usagi zoned out, scowling at the unoffending patch of air in front of her. The troublesome girl had some odd quirks, but those who didn't in the world of ninja stood out like sore thumbs. It seemed like a requirement to being a ninja to have issues or strange habits (coughGaicough).

_**Oh, stop it. This just means you'll have turn the dobe act on high and deny everything Iruka says...or claim amnesia.**_

_And I'm supposed to be thrilled about this?_

_**No, you're SUPPOSED to do it and do it with a will, because if you don't I'll eat up all your chakra and give you indigestion for a week, **_Kyuubi threatened, and Usagi shuddered. He'd done it before, after all, and that had caused her unbelievable grief in explaining it to Iruka during class. Of course, the damn fox _would_ have picked the day the class had to demonstrate Henge no Jutsu to pick a fight with her._****_

_Fine, dammit...Where's Naruto?_ Usagi felt the great fox snort and shift in his cage.

_**He went into your inner mindscape complaining about tests and sanctimonious idiots.**_

_I didn't think Naruto knew the word 'sanctimonious'._

_**He doesn't.**_

Usagi expelled a breath of exhausted annoyance, and turned her gaze out the window. Shikamaru was already creating Zs beside her, already bored with her lack of conversation. She considered shoving him off of the desk for falling asleep, but decided against it simply because he deserved a reprieve.

_Wonder who my teammates will be..._

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

_**No! Not like that! Idiot kit!**_

"Can it, Tousan," Usagi muttered, correcting her stance as she shifted her grip on Ketsueki, her sword. "I'm doing the best I can."

_You've been spacing out for the last few hours, Usa-chan. Is there something wrong?_ Naruto asked, having returned from his 'happy place', as Usagi had teasingly called it.

"Nothing, just...Did you see how Mizuki looked at me?" the blonde questioned, only half concentrating on her sword swings.

_Looked at you? How do you mean--? HOLY SHIT!! THE MAN'S A PERVERT, ISN'T HE?!? HE WAS LOOKING AT YOU IN A NASTY WAY, WASN'T HE?!?!? I'LL KILL HIM, I'LL RIP HIS--_

_**STOP BABBLING, BOY!! **_Kyuubi roared in irritation. _**She didn't mean he was looking at her in a perverted way-- if he had, he wouldn't be breathing right now.**_

"Right. He was pretty ticked off when I passed, and after school he kept glaring at me like I defaced the Hokage monument," Usagi said, half-wondering if Naruto had destroyed her inner ear with all his bellowing.

_**Baby, you DID deface the Hokage monument.**_

"That was years ago. I wonder if he was planning something that counted on me failing the exam?" the blonde bunny mused as she decapitated a tree stump.

_Probably. Forget the teme, onee-chan. He's got nothing to do with us now,_ Naruto dismissed, still a little annoyed with Mizuki for 'looking' at his sister.

"Absolutely right," Usagi affirmed. No sooner had she said that then the bushes next to her rustled warningly and something shot out of them. Startled, the blonde whipped around, Ketsueki still grasped tightly in her hand.

WHAM.

Usagi blinked up at Mizuki, who had gone inordinately white and was wheezing helplessly, and wondered what the hell was wrong with him. She looked down and noticed that Ketsueki's hilt was jammed into a rather...ah..._uncomfortable_ place.

"Oops."

Her former sensei keeled over in a dead faint. Usagi sweatdropped, unsure if she should break down laughing or just get on with training.

_Whoa. Right in the nuts. Man, that's gotta hurt._

The blonde nodded absentmindedly to her brother's commentary as she picked up the large scroll Mizuki had strapped to his back. Her eyes widened in shock and then indignation as she realized exactly what the scroll was and where it came from.

"That creep! This is Ojii-san's Forbidden Scroll!" Usagi said angrily, scowling down at the teme's prone form. Still muttering to herself, she pulled some rope out of her pouch and used it to bind Mizuki's wrists and ankles, and then sat on him as she studied the scroll her ex-sensei had so rudely swiped.

"I don't think Ojii-san would mind if I helped myself to a few of these jutsus, do you?" the blonde said thoughtfully as her face split into a prankster's grin.

_**Not at all,**_ Kyuubi and Naruto chorused, also grinning from within her mind's depths.

"That's what I thought," and with that, Usagi got to work.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Usagi! What are you _doing_?" Said rabbit looked up innocently into Iruka's eyes.

"Me? I was just training here, and then Mizuki-sensei came running in here and knocked himself out. He really should look where he's going next time," Usagi informed her favorite teacher seriously, biting back an evil smirk. Iruka frowned at her, clearly not believing his wide-eyed student, but chose not to press the subject.

"Nevermind. Give me that scroll, and help me carry Mizuki," he ordered gently. Usagi made a face at his back.

_So much for taking it easy for a while, _she thought, and then grinned. She had gone through the entirety of the scroll-- Kyuubi had told her to skim through it, and he would memorize everything and teach it to her later.

_Heehee... Konoha, watch your back._

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

THERE. First chapter is DONE. Now if you'll please excuse me, I have to go to the library to pick up my nephew. Ja ne!

Read and Review, please! 


	2. Of Tests and Misery

I don't know what's with this sudden outburst of Naruto fics recently, BUT I LOVE IT!!!!(dances around like a fool) And I love those reviews, so please keep them coming! I realize I kinda branched out from my former total angst style (there's still a little bit of angst here and there in Meant To Live), and I think I did fairly well. It's fun to write the dialogue between Usagi and her two tenants.

Disclaimer: If I owned Sailor Moon and Naruto, Itachi and Usagi would be together and Sasuke would be tied up and given to the Konohomaru Corps. as a pinata. As you can see, that is not the case, so you can't sue me.

**Pairings**: ItaUsa, SasuUsa, and onesided SakuSasu

**Side Pairings: **IrukaMichiru, KakashiAnko

_Hey love  
Is that the name you're meant to have  
For me to call  
Look love  
They've given up believing  
They've turned aside our stories of the gentle fall  
But don't you believe them  
Don't you drink their poison too  
These are the scars that words have carved  
On me_

Gravity, Vienna Tang

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Usagi hummed to herself as she replaced her braid's clasp into her hair, giving it an affectionate flick as soon as the many locks had been done up. It had been a birthday present from Naruto (well, not technically since she had to buy it, but he said he would have bought it for her if he had had a body, and money, of his own), and it was quite useful (enemies hardly ever expected a flying smack in the face from a hair accessory). Not to mention pretty-- it was a silver nine-tailed fox with ruby eyes, and each of its tails had a complex lock that kept it in her hair and made sure it didn't go flying off. Granted, she had to traverse the shadier parts of Konoha to get something that even remotely resembled a fox, the villagers were that paranoid. She definitely hadn't made herself any more popular with them when she had showed up with her new hair clasp.

_La la lala la, I'm off to get a te-e-e-am, and then I'm going to fa-a-a-il, lalala, _she sang in her head, laughing in delight as Naruto grumbled from within his bed in her mindscape and pulled his pillow over his head and Kyuubi let out an unhappy whine and curled all of his tails over his head in his cage. Usagi cackled sadistically, twirling around like a little child with her arms flung out over her head. The sound of beads clicking together made her stop abruptly and study her left arm, a tiny confused frown etched into her face.

_"This is for you, Usagi," Iruka said softly, offering her a long string of white beads. The blonde took hold of them curiously, turning them over in her hands and fondling them._

"What kind of material is this, sensei?" she asked, unable to place the smooth texture and feeling an odd sense of foreboding at the same time.

"It's bone."

"Bone?" Usagi parroted, looking down at the rosary with an expression of revulsion and fascination.

"Yes. They're the bones of a monk that battled a demon and defeated it at the cost of his life. The other monks of his temple burned his body, but for some odd reason, his bones remained intact and untouched in the blaze. His fellows took it as a sign and made rosaries from his bones so that the monk would always protect them," Iruka told her, surprised that she wasn't scoffing at the tale.

"Kind of a macabre gift, sensei," the blonde said, giving him an uncertain smile as she hid her hurt expertly. "I'm not sure I feel comfortable wearing a dead guy on my arm."

"I want you to make me a promise, Usagi-chan," Iruka interrupted, gently place his hands on her shoulder. "I want you to think about what you're doing when you wear this rosary. If a mission requires you to kill, don't let orders control you. Think before you end someone's life.

"I want you to promise me that you'll be gentle, Usagi, when you put these beads on," the scarred chuunin finished, putting a hand on top of her head.

"...I...I promise..."

_**It's not a bad thing to wear, actually, **_Kyuubi remarked, making his vessel jump. _**The rosary's power is strong enough to deflect some ninjutsu and most genjutsu, but not so strong that it will cause you pain to wear it and distort your chakra system. The human these bones belonged to must have had a fair amount of skill.**_

_It came from a dead person, and it's still on your arm,_ Naruto complained. _Can't you put it down? It's CREEPY!!_

_No. You heard Tousan. Besides, it looks kind of nice with my outfit._

_**You're outvoted, gaki, **_Kyuubi chortled. _**I can't wait to see the look on the villagers' faces when they see you wearing that! I won't be surprised if you have a fanclub after this, though. Those disgusting rags you used to wear covered up quite a lot.**_

_They're going to flip..._

_I do look damn good, don't I?_ Usagi reiterated, striking a sexy (ridiculous) pose, reminiscent of Sakura and Ino trying to get Sasuke's attention. Her top was black with the kanji for 'demon' splashed glaringly on the front, with a nine-tailed fox grinning sinisterly as it coiled around the symbol and its tails curled all over her top, which exposed her flat navel. There was just enough chakra concentrated into her seal that it showed clearly over her light skin. The blonde also had black shorts that stopped mid-upper leg and black boots (she'd always hated zori anyway). In addition, she wore black fingerless gloves with the kanji for 'evil' on their backs in red and her rosary wrapped around her left arm and decorative black belts on her right arm.

_**My kit's all grown up and ready to kick ass...I feel so proud, **_Kyuubi sniffled. Naruto almost responded to that, then gave up.

_Give 'em hell, Usa-chan._

Usagi hummed an affirmative and strode over to her front door, taking a moment to project her trademark 'I don't fucking care, it's my body I do what I want,' attitude, before stepping out into the village as herself for the first time.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

_Usagi buried her face in her hands, refusing to let the villagers see her tears. Their hateful eyes bored into her, scorn and loathing practically oozing from their pores. No one moved forward to help her, even though blood seeped from several cuts and dripped on the ground._

"Youkai..."

"Bakemono!"

"You see that girl, sweetheart? Don't go near her. She's bad, and she will hurt you."

"Kaasan said not to play with you."

"She should have been killed as soon as she was born."

"Freak! Why don't you die?!"

She covered her ears and scrunched her eyes shut, anything to block out the hurtful words. The blonde fell to her knees, tears falling freely from her closed eyes. 

"Why...why? What did I do..." Usagi whispered, clutching at her head.

"You didn't do anything," a voice said softly above her head as a hand settled into her hair. "But you shouldn't go outside. The outside is an awful place.

"But you don't have to worry. I'll take care of you." A hand entered Usagi's line of vision, and she automatically placed her diminuitive hand in it. The hand pulled her up and guided her away from the villagers, into a well of darkness. She couldn't see a thing, forced to depend completely on the person holding her hand. The blonde didn't know how far they had gone when the Other stopped, and her hand was transferred to someone else's.

"I can't stay. Don't worry, he'll take care of you," and then the Other was gone. Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over at this new and sudden abandonment. Cool fingers brushed against her cheeks, thumbing away the saltwater drops. 

"It's alright. He's like a cat-- he'll come back when he's ready. I'll protect you from now on," the new voice said, softer and kinder than the Other. Her hand was taken again, and she was led on.

Before long, his hand slipped out of hers. Usagi reached for him, and could not find him. She called his name in panic, thinking he had gotten lost.

"You have to find your own way from here, little rabbit. You are strong and beautiful-- I have faith in you." He is gone.

She was alone in the darkness once more.

Usagi's eyes snapped open just in time to see an eraser flying towards her head. She caught it between two fingers and scowled at Iruka, who looked startled that she had managed to snag the thing in midair. The chuunin's face morphed into a glower to match her own in a few seconds.

"And just what did you think you were doing, Usagi?" he said sternly.

"I believe I was sleeping, Iruka-sensei, before you so rudely woke me up," Usagi replied dryly, leaning her chin on her arm.

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WHEN YOUR TEAMS ARE BEING ANNOUNCED!!" Iruka bellowed, making the blonde topple out of her chair from the sheer volume of his voice.__

Ouch...man's got a set of lungs on him...

_**It's your fault for falling asleep and having freaky dreams that make no sense,**_ Kyuubi grumbled. _**Can't you ever dream something that isn't angsty or disjointed? It's booooooring in this place with only the gaki for company...**_

_Hey!_ Naruto protested. _I'm the one who should be complaining, you demented cat mutant! You're always trying to pull rank over me, and you snore when you sleep!_

_**I do not snore, you insignificant hairless ape!**_

Usagi resisted the urge to sigh and tried to tune out the World War III that was currently taking place in her mindscape. After the first five minutes had gone by and neither of them had calmed down, the blonde decided it was time to play referee.

_Naruto, get out of Tousan's cage-- out, I said, OUT DAMMIT!! Tousan, unwrap your tails from Naruto's neck, NOW, or else I'll turn the walls of your cage neon pink!! _Usagi smiled to herself. Instead of bored, Kyuubi would be traumatized. Well, it worked, didn't it?

The jinchuuriki turned her attention back to Iruka, who had stopped shouting and moved on, calling out teams to various reactions. _Well shit, I still don't know who my teammates are. _

_It's Emo-Sasuke and Sakura-hag,_ Naruto informed her, distaste coloring his words.

Usagi bit down on her lip to keep from screaming and looked at the Uchiha and his fangirl from the corner of her eye. Sasuke's eyes were closed and his head was bowed slightly, though not enough to be classified as sleeping and Sakura was staring at him with hero worship in her eyes. Neither of them had acknowledged her.

_**I can't believe you used to be friends with that pink-haired scourge, **_the fox snarled, the disgust in his voice far outstripping Naruto's. Usagi shut her eyes tightly, refusing to answer least that old wound reopen.

_"Kaasan said I'm not supposed to talk to you..."_

"You-- You're a MONSTER!!"

_**Enough! **_Kyuubi snapped, interrupting the not-so-pleasant trip down memory lane. _**Originally, I wasn't so fond of your hairbrained scheme, but you owe it to yourself to deal a retaliating blow to that thing and drag her down with you.**___

What he said, Usa-chan, Naruto encouraged. _If you're going to go out, go out with a bang and take as many as possible down with you!!_

_**Gaki, you basically repeated what I said.**_

_I did not!_

_**I refuse to be drawn into your childish arguments.**_

Usagi listened with half an ear to her family's bickering as she pulled out Ketsueki and began cleaning it. Jounin instructors came and went to pick up their new students, and time dragged on. After an hour and a half, the blonde gave up on her sword and pulled out her kunai and a whetstone and began to sharpen them. Another hour went by, and she had run out of things to do. 

Usagi resisted the temptation to stick her fingers in her ears to block out Sakura's ranting. Sasuke's hands were twitching minutely toward his shuriken pouch, an aura of death surrounding him that the pink kunoichi was oblivious to. Sakura had no idea how close to death's territory she was treading.

_There's only one jounin who'd dare to be this late... Hatake Kakashi, chronically tardy bastard and pervert extraordanaire._

_Is it just me, or is the temperature rising in here?_

_**You can't say he won't deserve whatever she dishes out.  
**_  
The jinchuuriki stood up abruptly and made her way to the door, making Sakura halt her tirade and Sasuke raise an eyebrow as she began pulling out an assortment of weaponry. That particular corner of the room began to look like a spider's web as Usagi strung up weapons and wire (and to add insult to injury, pepper spray) and created various triggers. It was only when she took out a packet of orange powder that her would-be teammates snapped out of the stupor of watching the class dobe create intricate traps.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Sakura screeched.

"Isn't it obvious," Usagi muttered, drawing the wire attached to the doorknob tight. _If she can't figure that much out, I'll be doing her a favor by failing all of us. Too bad Uchiha's going to have to take the fall as well._

"You're going to get in trouble with sensei, if you don't kill him first!" the pink scourge hissed.

"As if you care," the blonde retorted. "Now come over here and help me pull this, or shut up and sit in the corner."

Sakura opted to do neither and simply hovered there, her lips pressed together in a tight line. Usagi rolled her eyes at her former friend and positioned the smoke bombs. Out of curiousity, she glanced at Sasuke to see what he was doing. The dark-haired boy actually had a tiny smile on his face as he watched Usagi spin her web of horrors. The blonde shook her head to dispel the slight stuttering of her heart and busied herself slapping a few explosive tags on the door.

_He looks just like Mikoto-mama...heh, only Mikoto-mama's hair didn't look like a chicken's butt._

The sound of footsteps coming closer shook her from her musings, and Usagi hurriedly, but carefully, picked her way back out to the desks a good distance away and crouched on top of one to await the outcome. A head of silver hair and a face almost totally covered by a mask poked through the doorway, and then all hell broke loose.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Kakashi giggled to himself as he read his precious Icha Icha while walking through the Acadamy halls. All he had to do was freak out the little brats he'd been assigned to and fail them the next day, and then he would be free! Free to spend days lazing around reading his beloved (coughNASTY!cough) book!

When the masked nin reached out to grab the door, the hair on the back of his neck stood straight up and shivers ran up and down his spine like electricity. Kakashi tucked his precious book into his hip pouch-- the little brats had probably rigged up another pathetic trap, but it never hurt to be safe rather than sorry. What would it be this time, a flaming eraser? Kids these days, they had no imagination...

Kakashi grasped the knob and pulled open the door, and came face to face with a veritable minefield of traps. A soft _tink_ caught his attention, and when he looked down he saw a broken wire attached to the knob. Looking up, he saw an astonishing number of sharp, pointy things poised to fall on him. Looking straight across the room, Kakashi met a familiar pair of blue eyes that were narrowed in the promise of dire retribution.

_Well, shit..._

Thirteen explosions, twenty kunai, fifty-three shuriken, a bucket of pepper spray, an orange dye job and an innumerable amount of senbon later, Kakashi was really, _really_ cursing his luck on getting the one person who'd love to turn him into a pincushion for a student

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Usagi grinned bloodthirstily when a 'poof' of smoke exploded in the middle of room to show their new jounin sensei, ultimately worse for wear with holes in his clothes, burn marks, a few stray senbon stuck in his skin, splashed with orange dye, and his visible eye half-closed because some of the pepper spray had gotten into it. Ah, what she wouldn't give for a camera right now...

_**BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! The human looks ridiculous!!!**_

"Roof...meet...now...hate you..." Kakashi barely got out before poofing out of the classroom. Usagi scowled as she made her way out the door and to the designated meeting place.

_The feeling's mutual twice over, jackass,_ she growled in her head. The high of pulling off a successful prank had dissipated quickly, and now the blonde would have liked nothing more than to stomp Kakashi's face into the mud.

_Eh? What feeling?_ Naruto said, having not been paying attention to the aftermath of the trap.

_**You are an imbecile, **_Kyuubi informed him sternly. _**This is the reason why you would be dead if you had a body of your own, and were not inhabiting your sister's.**_

_Ha! That's rich, coming from the baka fox who got sealed in here in the first place! At least __**I**__ was stillborn!_

"Not stillborn, Naruto," Usagi muttered, fiddling with the rosary on her arm. "You had breathing problems."

"Did you say something?" Sasuke said, making her jump. The Uchiha raised an eyebrow at her.

"Nooooo..." the blonde dragged out, annoyed that she had let herself be snuck up on.

"Really," Sasuke stated blankly, suspicion clouding his eyes as Sakura scowled at her.

_What the hell is this guy's problem?! GET OFF MY BACK, YOU BASTARD!!! _Usagi screamed in her head. _I don't even LIKE you! Why the in the name of great flaming jelly beans would I tell you anything anyway?!?!?_

_**...jelly beans?**_

_... Shut up, Tousan._

Now officially settled into a bad mood, Usagi kicked open the door to the roof. Kakashi was perched on the edge of the roof, reading his porno. She wistfully entertained the fantasy of pushing him off as she sat as far away from the masked nin as possible. The blonde repressed a snarl as Sakura and Sasuke sat on either side of her, not liking the close quarters, and forcibly made herself stay seated.

"Now then, why don't you introduce yourselves?" Kakashi asked as he turned a page, not even looking up. _Keep dreaming, jerk. _"Say your names, what you like, hate, your hobbies, your dreams. That kind of thing."

"Why don't you go first, sensei? Show us how it's done?" Sakura said perkily, ever the teacher's pet. Usagi didn't even bother hiding her disgust at her suck-up attitude._ Pink-haired scourge..._

"I'm Hatake Kakashi. I like a few things, and dislike some. My hobbies...I have a few of those. I'm not interested in telling you my dreams," the scarecrow finished.

_**Still annoying as ever, **_Kyuubi grumbled. Usagi would have agreed, but she was clenching her jaw too hard.

"Your turn, pinky," Kakashi said, pointing at Sakura.

"I'm Haruno Sakura. I like..." she looked at Sasuke and blushed, and the blonde began to inch away, "My hobbies are..." she blushed again as the jinchuuriki gave a her a look of abject horror, "And my dream is..." Sakura squealed, and at that Usagi gave up on being polite and scooted away from Sakura, "I hate Ino-pig and Usagi-baka!"

"Trust me, Frankenforehead, the feeling is _waaaayyy_ mutual," Usagi stated, eyeing the pink one warily. She hadn't thought Sakura was _that_ obsessed, but she had been proven wrong before.

"Why, you--" Sakura fumed, fist poised to pummel her new teammate.

"Now, now, let's not fight," Kakashi interjected. "You, broody one, you're up next."

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I hate many things and like very few. My dream...no, more like an ambition... is to revive my clan, and to kill a certain man..." Sasuke trailed off, looking sinister. Usagi rolled her eyes at the avenger as Sakura gazed at him, starry-eyed.

_Gack...trapped between an emo and a fangirl...I've got to get out of here before I'm scarred for life._

_**Kit, I know now is not the time to bring this up--**_

_Then don't.__****_

No. You need to hear this now, Kyuubi said, sounding unusually somber.

_Spit it out, then, _Usagi thought tiredly.

_**Kakashi is unfairly observant, considering he's only got one eye for day-to-day use. If Iruka did, as we suspect, give him your COMPLETE file, then we're screwed. He knew you for a time, and he has a good idea how your mind works. He'll know what you're up to. When you fail his test, his suspicions will be confirmed, and you will be chained to Konoha for the rest of your life.**_

Usagi felt a shiver creep up her spine. _What should I do?_

_**As soon as you fail the test, you've got to run.**_

_...I see._

"Now you, blondie," Kakashi said, glancing at her.

Usagi didn't answer, staring morosely at the floor below her feet. Anger churned just beneath the surface, at the Hokage, at Kakashi, Iruka, and mostly herself. Because of her carelessness, she would have to leave a year earlier than she was ready. How the hell was she supposed to pack, say goodbye to Michiru and the people at the ramen stand, and slip out of the village unnoticed in barely a few hours? An acadamy student alone on the road was a big no-no, averse to a simple orphaned, rootless traveller.

"Uzumaki?"

This was great, just effing _great_. Too troublesome, as Shikamaru would say-- and she would have to say goodbye to _him_, too. She wouldn't be surprised if the genius had already guessed this was coming. At least it wouldn't come as a shock for him, and if he knew, surely he understood her reasoning--

"Usagi?"

"Your _face_, Kakashi," she snapped. Damn, the man was annoying...

"You still haven't introduced yourself," the masked nin replied, unperturbed. Usagi glared at him, then slammed her feet down and stood up decisively.

"Fine. I'm Uzumaki Usagi, not that you didn't already know that. I doubt any of you give a shit what I like or not. I'm not interested in sharing my hobbies or my dreams. So if you don't mind, I'll be going now--"

"Ah, don't leave just yet," Kakashi interrupted. "You haven't heard everything." Usagi growled low in her throat, then turned around slowly and deliberately, and stalked to the other side of the roof and sat down.

"Now, then...tomorrow will be Survival Training," the scarecrow said, his visible eye turning into an upside-down crescent.

"But Sensei, we had Survival Training in the Acadamy," Sakura interjected, frowning slightly.

"Well, we're obviously going to have it again," Usagi snapped. "Just shut up and let him finish."

Kakashi began to chuckle evilly, and the blonde visibly fought to keep from punching him in the face. _Damn him, I wish he'd hurry up and get to the point!_

"Only sixty-six percent of new genin are able to pass their Survival Training set by their jounin," the silver-haired nin said, still snickering. "Meet me tomorrow at six in front of the bridge...oh, and I wouldn't eat anything if I were you," he said merrily, before poofing out.

Usagi blinked, then groaned and buried her head in her hands. _Damn Kakashi to the seventh layer of hell...no, wait, he can't go down there! I LIVE THERE!!! He's going to have to settle for the sixth level...or fifth, don't want him too close... Kami, I need some sake..._

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Here," Michiru said, passing Usagi a cup of sake. "Normally, I wouldn't even think about giving you alcohol, but you look like you need it."

"Thanks," Usagi murmured, taking a sip of the amber liquid. She offered the sea-green haired beauty a tiny upturn of her lips, and was rewarded with a warm smile. The blonde loved the older woman like she was her own mother, and in a way she was. Michiru was always looking after Usagi, and had even gone so far to completely redecorate her entire apartment free of charge and so many other things none of the villagers or shinobi would have even thought of doing.

"How has your week gone so far?" Michiru asked, a look on her face that plainly said she already knew.

"Terrible," Usagi muttered, glaring into her cup. "Your boyfriend is entirely too noble for his own good. Plus, he needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut. And I've been saddled with Frankenforehead and Uchiha for a team--"

"You really need to let go of the grudge that you hold against Haruno-san," Michiru chided gently. Usagi snorted, and downed the rest of the cup in one go.

"She was supposed to be my friend, Michiru," she said bitterly as she put the cup down, "She didn't have the guts to think for herself. So, when Kaa-chan says her friend's a monster, well then by Kami, Usagi-chan's a monster, and no amount of evidence will convince her otherwise, even years later.

"You can't say I didn't try, because I did. I wanted her back that badly," Usagi stated softly, sadness seeping into her tone. "Ino...Ino still talks to me sometimes-- when she's not trying to impress Sasuke-- but you can easily tell that she picked Sakura over me."

Michiru bowed her head and sighed softly. It still astounded her, even years after she had moved into this village to escape her lover's death, how prejudiced the entire village could be to a child. A week after she had first arrived to begin her shop, she had found Usagi beaten in an alleyway, clothes torn and eyes glassy, with several men standing over her. The ten-year-old that she had taken out of the alleyway and fed and clothed and mothered had been a grieving, angry child who had experienced the cruelties of life much too soon, with very little love to help her through it. But she had made it, somehow, and now she was ready to take on the world-- insecurities, personal grievances and everything.

"So, how are they?" Usagi asked, cutting the older woman off of her inner tirade. Michiru gazed down at Usagi tenderly, smiling to herself at the anxious expression on the blonde's face.

"They won't be ready to come out of their cocoons for a couple of months yet... but I'm sure they'd appreciate a visit from you nonetheless," the green-haired woman said quietly. Usagi nodded to herself and stood up, abandoning the sake, and walked into a room off to the side.

A basket sat on the bed, holding two small flesh-colored cocoons. While a normal person would have been startled, even repulsed by the bundles, Usagi touched them tenderly, almost reverently, running her fingers over their smooth sides as she hummed a soft tune. She placed a hand on each of the cocoons and sent a little pulse of chakra into each one, filled with love and caring.

_**Both of them are in perfect health,**_ Kyuubi said, a satisfied tone in his voice, _**It won't be long now.**_

_Wow,_ Naruto breathed, peering through Usagi's eyes at the cocoons. _Just a few months, right?_

_Yes_, Usagi confirmed, and picked up each one of the bundles, holding them close to her heart. _Just a few more..._

"Should I get them ready for tomorrow?" Michiru asked from behind the girl. Usagi shut her eyes, not wanting any tears to fall.

"Why am I not surprised you know?" she asked, cuddling the cocoons closer.

"I know you better than anyone." And it was true, too.

_Tomorrow...the prospect isn't really all that appealing, despite how much I hate this place._

Will I regret it? Will I be happy with my decision?

Tomorrow, I'll know.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"You suck." 

"I resent that," Kakashi retorted, glaring down at Usagi.

"No, you really suck," the girl assured him, returning his glare and doing a happy dance inside her head.

_He fell for it, he fell for it, he SO SO FELL FOR IT!!!_

_We could have done without that ass-poking move, _Naruto grumbled. Usagi's mood promptly soured at the thought of Kakashi's Sennen Goroshi.

_**Perverted bastard! I swear, kit, if you ever let me loose he's going to be the first to go, **_Kyuubi snarled, humiliated that such a disgraceful jutsu would be used on his vessel and surrogate daughter.

"Does anyone know the real meaning behind this test?" Kakashi asked in exasperation.

"Ooh! Ooh! Pick me, pick me!" Usagi yelled sarcastically, jumping around and waving her arms.

_**You seem to be channeling a certain someone...but for the life of me I can't remember who... someone loud and annoying, that's for sure.**_

_Kyuubi..._

"Fine. Psychopathic blonde, tell me what the real purpose of this test is," Kakashi deadpanned.

"TTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMWOOOOOORRRRKKKKKKKKK!!!!!" Usagi bellowed at the top of her lungs, Sasuke and Sakura jumping away as their sensei cringed and regretted ever calling on the girl, even if she did have the right answer.

_**Ow... This is all your fault, gaki.**_

_Me?! How is it my fault?_

_**I don't know, but I'll find out.**_

"I can tell you why it didn't work, too," she added thoughtfully. The jounin wondered if he was going to regret this as well, then threw caution to the winds.

"Shoot," he said casually.

"Well, to start off with, the teams were placed all wrong. If we were placed with people who we actually got along with, you wouldn't be having this problem-- except her, next to nobody gets along with her," Usagi stated, waving a hand dismissively at Sakura, who fumed, but held her tongue, "For instance, if you'd placed me with Hinata and Shikamaru, we would have been able to work together, no problems at all. But if I'd gone to Sasuke with the offer of working together, he would have rebuffed me and said he didn't need help from a class dobe, or something like that. The only way I could have gotten Sakura to work with me was by working with Sasuke, which wasn't going to happen.

"And, well...okay," Usagi said, a slight flush on her cheeks, "Maybe bringing popcorn, eating it and laughing as Sasuke and Sakura tried to get the bells while I did nothing was a little over the top. It was the best I could come up with, though."

"Wait a minute," Sasuke interrupted, dark eyes flashing angrily, "You knew we were going to fail?" Usagi blinked, and wondered if she hadn't been clear enough.

"Well, _duh_," she said, rolling her eyes. "Don't look at me like that-- you wouldn't have believed me even if I told you what would happen."

_Kami, Itachi never had that arrogant streak..._

_**Kit...don't think about him.**_

_Yes, Tousan._

"Regardless of your correct logic, Usagi," Kakashi said tiredly, a sad look in his obsidian eye, "You're still going to have to be tied to the stump, as you did not participate in the excercise."

"The ass-poking move you used on me doesn't count as participating?" Usagi asked curiously, shifting so she could be more comfortable as Kakashi bound her to the stump.

"Afraid not," he said breezily, handing Sasuke and Sakura their bento. "Now remember, neither of you feed her or you fail!"

Usagi rolled her eyes again as Kakashi vanished. _Always one for the melodrama, he is..._

_**As if you're not a drama queen yourself, **_Kyuubi snorted.

_Demon queen, not drama, Tousan, _Usagi retorted, trying to balance on one leg so she could scratch the itch on her left leg.

_You know what the fuzzball meant, Usa-chan._

_Just because I know his game doesn't mean I have to play it._

"Hey." Usagi blinked and looked down at Sasuke, who was offering some of his rice to her.

"You need your strength if we're going to try and get the bells again after lunch," the Uchiha stated. 

For the first time in a long time, Usagi honestly felt touched. Sasuke knew he would be failed if he was caught, and he was going to feed her anyway. _Give the kid a gold star. He just went up a notch in my book._

"Here, take some of my mine too," Sakura offered, pushing her bento over to Usagi. The blonde stared at her, visibly taken aback, a bit of hope flaring up in her chest. _Could she...is she...?_ Then the jinchuuriki saw the other girl glance furtively at Sasuke, and her hopes dashed themselves against the hard rocks of reality. _Should have known better..._

Of course, Kakashi would pick that moment to pop back up.

"**YOU...**" He said, an aura of doom that caused all of Team Seven to cringe swirling around him, "**ALL...**"

A shiver of foreboding crept up Usagi's spine.

"Pass!" Kakashi said cheerily. __

No...no, no, no...No no no no no no no...NONONONONONONONONOOONOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

_Do you think she'll survive?_ Naruto asked Kyuubi, then sweatdropped as he saw the great demon fox huddled in the corner of his cell, an aura of gloom surrounding him. Naruto looked back to his ranting sister, then back at the fox.

_Am I the only one still sane in here?_

Usagi worked herself out of the ropes, barely taking note of what Kakashi had said. Something about not abandoning your teammates, but she didn't really care. All her carefully laid plans...in ruins. Barely recognizable _ruins_. Her chance to get out of Konoha had been ripped up, stomped on, set fire to, and had the Mexican Hat Dance done on it. All because of one simple word. 'Pass.'

Usagi was not happy (which was the understatement of the century). And if Usagi was not happy, _nobody_ was happy.

"Kakashi," she said mildly. The rest of Team Seven froze and looked back at the murderous looking blonde who was clutching her sword and eyeing their new sensei, massive waves of killing intent pouring off of her.

"Run." And Kakashi did. Usagi didn't even give him a ten second head start before charging after the perverted nin, swinging her sword haphazardly and screaming incoherently.

Well, nobody ever said being a ninja was easy. At least Team Seven wouldn't be boring...

Once again, the understatement of the century.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sheez... my mom and I were driving into town yesterday and a huge hailstorm popped up out of nowhere and smashed in the back window and the left rear one, and put a bunch of huge dents in the car. Freaky, let me tell you. And it was my first time driving with my learner's permit, too. It makes me wonder if I pissed God off or something...Nah!

Now, **a question for my readers**:

Do you want Hinata to have a crush on Usagi, or just see her as her idol?

Whichever way is fine. I have nothing against slash in general, though I doubt I have the ability to write anything like that.

So, thank you all for your patience with me and my laziness once again.

Read and Review, please! 


End file.
